A baby story

For most of our marriage, Nate and I have wanted a baby. Pregnancy after pregnancy test confirmed that a baby wasn't in our future, yet. I tried to be patient and be happy for those that were able to get pregnant. I truly was happy for them, but always wondered when it was going to be our turn. I thought we could be great parents, we could give them so much love. We relied on the Lord that he knew what was best for us.

Throughout all the fertility treatments I was going through a huge roller coaster. One day I was perfectly content with having faith, and another day where I was for sure we would never have kids. I remember thinking "fine then, we'll just save all our money and be the richest people and vacation when we want, buy anything we want and won't have to worry about diapers and rash cream." Looking back sometimes I think I was losing it. :)

Having the best, patient husband helped so much, he reassured me so many times that everything would be ok. And plus, why would I want to have to share him with anyone else? I would be perfectly content just having him to myself, but then pictures popped in my head of baby Nathan's and it starts all over again. So we moved to Germany from Alabama and had oh so much fun. No baby to stop us from being spontaneous.

In August Nate had to leave for a month training so the plan was for me to go home to Utah and then go back to Germany and stay with him until he deployed. We kept playing with the idea of doing invitro. We knew it was such a big risk, first of all, lots of money, second, not 100% chance of it working and third, I would have to stay in Utah the whole time and not be able to go back to Germany and be with Nate until he deployed. And the roller coaster started again. Prayer played such a big role in all of this, I don't think I have mentioned it enough, we couldn't have done any of this without the Lord's help.

So we decided to do it! I moved back home to Utah at the end of July. It just felt right. We figured that if I did get pregnant then I would have time to get all the necessary paperwork for the baby to go to Germany when Nate gets back from deployment. So of course we were excited. scared. happy. scared. and scared. Leaving Nate in Germany was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I remember looking back at him at the Frankfurt Airport, it still makes me cry. He's my best friend, how was I going to do this without him? In my mind I kept saying "oh this all better be worth it!"

I won't bore you with all the details of the invitro, but I loved my Dr.'s that took care of us. I knew we were at the right place, I would just sit there and think, "this is where little Nathan and Mindy's would begin" I had to go through a series of medications. Lots of shots. Lots of ultrasounds. Lots of tears. Lots of happy's and sad's. We transferred three embryos. The day of the transfer Nathan was able to be on webcam so it felt just like he was there.

The night of the transfer I felt like it hadn’t worked. There is no way I could be pregnant. I had a two week wait before I could find out. It was horrible! I tried to occupy my mind with anything I could. I even made an appointment with LDS services to start the adoption papers after my pregnancy test, because I knew it would be negative. Nate was flying to Utah to see me for two weeks before he left for deployment. I would find out if we were pregnant four days after Nate got here. The day that Nate flew in I was feeling like I might have the flu. Nate’s parents were in Utah to see Nate. They picked me up so that we could go get Nate at the airport. I was having a hard time breathing and just felt sick. Pregnancy hardly entered my mind. I just wanted to know why I was feeling so weird. It was so good to see Nate but I couldn’t hide that I was sick. We called my Doctor that night and he thought I should come in first thing in the morning. I wasn’t supposed to do my pregnancy test for another four days. So that morning they did an ultrasound and saw that my ovaries were leaking fluid (from being over stimulated from the invitro) this happens with some girls. I was put on strict bed rest and could only drink Gatorade, no water for weeks. Um, yes, gross. They also did a pregnancy test, and would call us a few hours later with the results. I really did not think I was pregnant.

We were on our way to Park City to see my grandparents and the nurse called. I handed my cell phone to Nate because I didn’t want to hear what she had to say. She told him I was pregnant. WHAT!?? Our world was completely changed that second. Every time I looked at Nate I would just smile because I was having his baby! He was going to be a dad, and me a mom?! Holy Cow. We just couldn’t feel any more happier. I called my mom and dad, and tried to cry but crying made it hard to breathe with the extra fluid pushing up against my diaphragm, so I felt like I was screaming in the phone. It couldn’t have been a more happy moment for Nate and I.

So today I am 12 weeks with a large lime in my tummy. I am due June 23. I am starting to show a little but if you don’t regularly look at my stomach then you probably would have no clue. I love showing Nate my tummy on webcam, I feel like a little kid showing his mom how full I am. When I was 8 weeks, I had my first appointment with my OB. Nate was supposed to deploy that exact day and wouldn't get to be on webcam for the first appointment. Somehow his deployment day got moved to the next day and he was able to be there on webcam. We got to hear the heartbeat for the first time, see the little bean. That was such a special moment, the Lord has been on our side this whole time. I knew He made it possible for Nate to be there, He knew how long we have waited for that day.
Through all of this I have learned so much. Everything in this life is a learning process. I have relied more on the Lord then ever. Yes I have been mad at Him at times, but He is the one that knows when the right things will come into our lives at the RIGHT TIME. Timing is everything, and no, it wasn't on my time table, it is on His. I have also learned that technology is amazing. I could just kiss the people that invented invitro, and webcam!! And one more thing, I have learned that I couldn't love my husband more. He has been my strength through this whole thing. Well there you have it, a long story, whew! I am excited to keep you posted on my lime and the journey that will come.

(oh and ONE more thing, after I found out I was pregnant, I thought I was pregnant with triplets. Because we transferred three embryos we didn't know how many took. What a weird feeling thinking I had three dots in me for two weeks. I was so relieved when the Dr. only saw one at six weeks. I couldn't fly back to Germany with three, no way!)