We did another round of invitro (IVF) and it didn't work. We went to a German Doctor that was half the price of what it was in Utah and we were really excited. We already had the names picked out for the twins, yes we wanted twins, and still do. We kept telling Carter that he better be a good big brother. So many plans. We transferred three embryos like last time and none of them took. I felt like such a failure. Tears came, and tears still come every time I think of it. Why does this have be our trial?
I am in need of lots of faith, and I am for sure working on it. I know the Lord has a plan for us, and while I am trying to figure out what it is, I am also working on trusting that He knows what's best for us. I don't know what our next plan will be, and that scares me to death because I am one that always has to have a plan. But I do know that I am so grateful for so many blessings in my life. Nathan and Carter have been my rock through all of this. This hasn't been easy for Nathan either, but he sure has been my strength through this.
While I am at it I guess I better complain a little more. :) I just got over the stomach flu and we all still have colds that we're trying to get over since last week. I think I got the worst mother award yesterday. While I was on web cam with my cousin, Carter walks into the living room with a butcher knife while he's babbling and so happy.
It's snowing right now for the first time this season and that makes me happy. I thought it wouldn't but it does. I am excited for this Christmas. I wish we could be with family but glad I get to be with my little family.
Ok, I am done for now. Thanks for listening.
11 comments:
Ha. If that makes you the worst mom then Katie and I should have our kids taken by CPS. She just visited me and we were hanging out and our kids started screaming. So we went into the kitchen and Porter and Pierce were on my kitchen counter and Stratton had a knife and was waving it back and forth at them like he was threatening them to stay up there. It was hiarious.
As far as the baby thing goes, I'm sorry. Really, truly sorry. My friend had a miscarriage that tore her apart. 6 months later she had another one at about 8 weeks and kept asking herself why. When she would have been about 20 weeks pregnant with the second baby, she was in a tragic accident that probably would have made her miscarry or have a still born. She was so sad when she miscarried and looking back after the accident, she had a whole new perspective on the situation. She felt so blessed that it didn't end with a still born and that she miscarried when she did. Then 4 or so months later she got pregnant with twins all by herself. She says it all worked out in the end and that she lost faith somewhere in there that the Lord really loves her and wants what's best for her. He's looking out for us and only He can see what's in our future.
Not sure if that story helped at all. I hope you have fun this Holiday season. Paysen says hi.
i'm so sorry you and nathan are going through this trial. we also battle with infertility but have been trying insemination right now. i know it's not easy, we also really want more children but i hope you will feel some comfort during this trying time.
Min, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine struggling with the ability to add to my family. That would be so difficult. I'm sorry you and Nathan are dealing with this. You are so strong and I know your faith will see you through. One of my good friends struggled for three years to get pregnant. After the three years of trying they finally decided to do IVF. The month she was planning to start they were completely surprised...she was pregnant. God works in mysterious ways. :) I love you, girl! I pray you will be able to add another adorable little person to that awesome family of yours. Thinking of you!
We sure love you guys. I'm so sorry, I can't even imagine how you must be feeling but I want you to know that we have always admired how you and Nathan handle this trial. You are both so humble and show such quiet dignity. You are in our thoughts and prayers.
Thinking of you... I still think there's some siblings of Carter's waiting to come down. And trust me, you're not the only parent who has caught their child with a knife! :)
You are amazing Mindy. This post brought tears to my eyes. Infertility is something I am planning on asking about after I die because I do not get it at all. I know you know what to do and I appreciate your strength to share your experience.
Oh, Mindy, I am so sorry. Infertility is the worst, and no one really understands it until they've been there themselves. I am like you in always wanting to have a plan, and it never seems to work out. There is nothing that can make this easier for you, except the Lord's tender mercies, and time. Your faith will increase and at some point you will come to peace with all this. Just know that it will get better and that the Lord hasn't forgotten you.
Thanks for sharing your trial. I hear. I send a simple love and a prayer in my heart. <3
Mindy, I wish so much that I could be there to help. I know I don't always say the right things, but we do love you and care very much about what is going on in your lives. What you are going through must be incredibly painful. I love the quote, "When life gets too hard to stand... kneel." You are not forgotten. In response to Joseph's plea God said, “My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;
“And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.
“Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands."
You, Carter, and Nate are so very loved. You have so many who are standing by you, praying for you, wishing to comfort you... Please share the following talk with Nate, I think it may help heal your hearts.
http://lds.org/ensign/2009/05/adversity?lang=eng
Love, Shan
I love you. I will pray for you, friend. XOXO
PS. I need your address :)
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